Planetside Rumours' very own crack investigative journalist, Brett Stroker, has been out on the streets of Hollywood tracing the IP Addresses of the Stars, and as a result has discovered some big name players of our favourite MMOFPS.
It’s a little known fact that many major international celebrities are huge fans of Planetside, but with so much money and free time on their hands maybe it's not such a huge surprise.
This month’s exclusive interview is with gifted actress, former perfume model, international ambassador for the Tibet House charity, and accomplished purveyor of the interpretive arts, the eminently shaggable Uma Thurman.
PSR: Welcome, Uma, to Planetside Rumours.
UT: Thanks Brett, it’s great to be here, in a way.
PSR: Coffee?
UT: No thanks, it makes me jumpy.
PSR: Fine, let’s get on with the interview then shall we?
UT: Are we going to do this, like, standing up?
PSR: I’m sorry, where are my manners? Please feel free to relax on our plump and luxurious chaise longue.
UT: Thanks. Wow, this is really comfortable.
PSR: We’re very happy with it.
UT: But what’s that smell?
PSR: Er, nothing. Don’t worry about it.
UT: It’s kinda gross.
PSR: Are you sure you wouldn’t like some coffee? It’s Jamaican Blue Mountain.
UT: Positive.
PSR: So Uma, why Planetside?
UT: What? I didn't like, invent it or anything, I just play it.
PSR: Hahaha. And why did you start playing?
UT: Oh right. Well, the thing that a lot of people don’t get about the movie industry is, there’s a lot of waiting around between takes. I spend 90% of location shoots in my trailer, so I gotta have something to keep my mind occupied, right? Some actors have tantrums or drug habits. I have Planetside.
PSR: So you have internet access in your trailer?
UT: Oh sure. First thing my PA does on-set is fix me up so I can play PS. It’s a dedicated 100Mbit pipe apparently, whatever that is.
PSR: Wow you really have great ping.
UT: Thanks, Brett, and they’re totally natural.
PSR: I meant, erm, never mind. So tell me, why did you choose the Vanu Sovereignty as your empire?
UT: It was the uniforms really. NC costumes are kinda clunky, and the TR ones are like really, just, “No way!”, you know what I mean? Anyway, green and purple are the new black, so it was the obvious choice.
PSR: And your character name, “UnhurtMama”, where did that come from?
UT: Well, Brett, it’s an anagram of my name, you know? And I thought it sounded kinda cool, but also tough, don’t-mess-with-me sorta thing.
PSR: So what are your favourite VS weapons in-game?
UT: Since working with Quentin on Kill Bill, after all the samurai sword training I thought it would be great to have my character fight exclusively with the knife, so that’s what I’ve been doing for the past six months.
PSR: Wow that’s interesting. You must have gotten really good with melee, made a lot of cool kills.
UT: Zero kills and 15,864 deaths, so far. I’m thinking of switching to Special Assault to be honest. I spent my certs on a cloaker suit, but it’s weird because even when I’m crouched and stationary, people always seem to spot me immediately.
PSR: I know what you mean. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother switching my cloak suit on.
UT: You have to switch it on?
PSR: Er, yes. Hit K.
UT: Oh cool. I’ll try that.
PSR: I believe you also have the Medium Assault cert?
UT: Yeah, but the Pulsar is just, like, so last week, y’ know? I’m gonna stick with my knife. It rocks!
PSR: And finally Uma, where do you see Planetside going from here? Are you looking forward to Battle Islands?
UT: Yeah I’m really excited about that. Me and my blade will be there, kicking ass on Devastation y’ know? But the future? Well the future’s unknowable right? That’s what makes it, like, different from the past?
PSR: Thanks Uma. We’ll be sure to see you on Auraxis. And if you ever need a good outfit, send me a /tell.
UT: Yeah right.
PSR: We have a 50 slot TS server.
UT: Don’t /tell me, I’ll /tell you. Hey, my blouse is stuck to your chaise longue. Ewwww, what is that?
PSR: Um, it’s Tizer.
UT: I don't think so.
PSR: Er, garlic mayonnaise?
UT: And who is gonna clean this blouse...
PSR: Uma Thurman, thank you very much. :D
*runs away*
Subsequent to this interview, it came to our attention that the person representing herself as Ms Thurman may in fact have been someone else entirely. We apologise for any distress this may have caused (us).
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