Letters to da Editor
If you want to write to Ed, then DO.

All letters should ideally be about something, and be written using words. We might cut them, or make up stuff to add to them. Or we might not print them. :P

Dear Ed,

Please help me, I have recently cheated on my outfit with a Vanu girl that I met in a bar one night. It started out as a quick fling, she would polish my Jackhammer while I lubed up her Lasher, we would see each other for a couple of hours a week, and life as I knew it became more exciting, but now I think my outfit suspects.

One day I forgot to take a shower before joining a squad and was questioned why I smelled of fish. I realised at this point I had to end my relationship with the girl, but I am now getting endless /tells from her, I am afraid she will "Hail" me when I am in my squad and scared that I will be caught and sodomised by my outfit, please help me find a way to end this dilemma.

Faithless (Anonymous Outfit)

PS. Please do not print my real name, for obvious reasons.

Dear Ed,

I am shocked and appalled.

signed,

Bubba


Er, why? :/
Hey Dudes,

I've noticed that recently the graphics in PS have got about ten million times better! The way the ground slides about and flickers through the whole spectrum from ultraviolet to infrastrange is totally rad. My outfit leader stood next to a tree and his face was suddenly overlaid with the texture of the bark, and looked really 5-D. Kawow! I love the way all the base walls are now covered in glass tubes filled with colored water and tiny telepathic prawns that sing "My Way" and tell jokes.

How do they do all this? It's like totally amazing dudes!

Rowan Karpinsky


It's inevitable your outfit will find out about this affair, especially now that I've published your real name. But you still have options. Tell your outfit that it was just a fling and it's now over. People do strange things in war time, and your outfit will understand.

Tell your girlfriend that she looks very sexy in a cloaker suit, and that her arse looks extremely small in it. So if she hails you at a bad moment, no one will see her do it.

Finally, get a Vanu alt and continue your affair in secret. You may lose all your self respect, but at least you'll still be getting laid, which is more important.


I'm not completely sure what you're talking about but you must give me the address of your chemist.
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